Watta gwan mi youth. Every ting irrie mon. Wa ya mean. Respect. I can hear it and understand it but speaking it is a whole different ball field. Being the first generation in my mother and father's family to be born in America limits me from being able to communicate with my family. I can understand all that my mother yells at me or all that my grandfather says but trying to say it the same way back is a challenge. You come from foreign. You nah a true Jamaican. And I guess it is true. I am from America and wasn't born in Jamaica but I know so much about it. It is my parents homeland and is in my blood. It is my life but by not being able to speak it stops me from gaining that satisfaction of truly inheriting that part of me. Me nah chat to ya. Just because I can't speak it I get singled out. I can listen to any Jamaican and be able to understand all that they say but since me come from foreign me to good. Me can't chat like dem. So dem use dat to chat bout me. And it's hard to explain that I understand. Say somethin den. And that's were my mouth shuts.
Being able to speak in your mother language is key. If me nah chat like dem who am I talking like. I barely understand English let alone patwah. Fi mi language is who I am. So if I don't speak English the way it was made to be spoken, then I'm barely American. If I can't speak patwah, den mi nah Jamaican. It's hard. I want to be both since I was born in America and have Jamaican ancestry. It would probably take me all my life to learn one or the other. Languages nah come like dat. Mi have fe work fa dat. And to be honest, I don't know if I want to. I mean, I want to be apart of one but I feel like I would be giving up the other if I do. It is like the light skin people who were passing. It's either they chose white or black. And they must fully engross dem self inna de culture. It's the same with me. If I fully learn English correctly and push away the incorrect nature of patwah, then I am choosing a culture that really isn't mine but I was born into to. If I decide to choose patwah and completely learn dat, den mi a tek way de English mi have. Since patwah is broken English, I will probably not even try to understand proper English. But the thing is, I want to be both and not have to choose. But people make me feel like if I don't chose one language then I'm truly not apart of that culture.
Language defines your culture. The language you speak tells others who you are. If mi a chat like a Jamaican, then people will see me as a Jamaican. If I speak like an American, then people will see me as American. The language you speak really defines wa culture you a part of. It shouldn't be that way though. I still mainly eat Jamaican food at home. I still root for Jamaica in the Olympics. I support the country mi nah born in. Mi have respect fa it. But I still speak English in school. I speak English when I met a stranger. I say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. Language only shows others what culture you are affiliated with but there are much more important aspects of culture than language that really defines the culture you are. And even though I can't speak or proper English, I am proud to be a Jamarican.
First off, on a semi related note I'd just like you to know that I was completely one hundred percent a staunch supporter of the Jamaican bobsled team in the last Olympics...pity they didn't do so well.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, this was a terrific blog post. I liked how you integrated patwah (that's how you say Jamaican English/Creole right) with Standard English. It was especially neat how you were able to tie up the concept of identity and language, en light of the fact that we've been predominantly talking about this idea for the past few weeks. I can see that it definitely applies to you.
At the same time I liked your bold statement in the final paragraph when you asserted that language constitutes only a small part of all there is to a culture. As you said, just because you aren't fluent in your mother tongue doesn't mean you can't identify with Jamaica to some degree. I don't have a British accent or know all their terminology, yet I still partly identify with the UK. Sure I'm American, but like you I have family over there and many ties to the country.
Finally on a separate note I would just like to inquire why you said you were not fluent in Standard English. I see you in class everyday and can definitely say that you seem fluent in SE. Did I understand you wrong?
Fantastic post,
Doug
I loved it!! lol but it was really good I understand your pain kind of especially when people say you aren't a true Jamaican I get that with the Haitian thing its like -_-. You speak with an accent you aren't Haitian you don't speak the language at all you aren't Haitian like then what am I? I kind of agree but disagree with your last paragraph I feel that if you cant speak your language and aren't ttying your giving it up if you try thats good. I think language should define you, Because it is your identity its your culture but I do like your argument.
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